So because I can’t sleep a full night yet again, I’ve decided to go over all my paperwork and other little things I’ll need when I leave for basic. Im 5 days away from finally doing something with my life, and honestly couldn’t be more excited. I bitch and moan how I hate this town but I know I’ll miss all this, and someday I hope I do. For once I’m finally proud of a decision I made with my life and thats a great feeling that just can’t be talked down. I’ve been doubted and thats great, people around here are used to dead ends. This choice isn’t about some awesome facebook picture of me in uniform or the money I’ll endlessly dump into my car at some point, its simply about getting off my ass and making something of my fucking self , other than some self righteous stoner who complains all day and has an excuse for everything, or the hundreds of other stupid reasons to stick around and live with my mom till I’m gray and dying. I just need change , I’ve been in so much need lately nothing makes me happy anymore and I’m not okay with that. I can’t be sure that it all makes sense, but I supposed it wouldn’t really matter cause I don’t really want to change anything, the stupid decisions I’ve made on the surface seem terrible but have ALL brought someone of value into my life, and Im honestly hoping that this good decision will do that same without all the guilt and negative thoughts. /Rant> cig time.